By Pradip Rodrigues
Canadians are guilty of being notoriously polite, it is a stereotype often used to describe us as a people. When traveling abroad people often identify our nationality by this 
characteristic. We are Polite to a fault, is the title Bruce Greirson, the five-time Canadian National Magazine Award-winning used for his essay which delved into the subject.
Demographics are changing the stereotype
But I am afraid that as Canada’s demographics change, such a wonderful stereotype is in danger of becoming extinct in a generation or two. It is not all the fault of new immigrants, many of whom come from countries and backgrounds where such social niceties are part of the culture, but aren’t practiced any more. I have spoken to many new South Asian immigrants about their first impressions of Canada and invariably they’re struck by the politeness they encounter- at stores, in parks and anywhere for that matter. They’ve remarked about their Canadian neighbors who generally smile and wave at them, at times they’ve been startled by strangers who’ve acknowledged them on sidewalks or on park trails. That takes some getting used to for many newcomers. I must stress that such tends to be the case in small town Canada and in communities that haven’t as yet been invaded by hordes of immigrants. Other new immigrants are bewildered when they’ve encountered Canadians using words that weren’t used very often in their home countries like ‘Please’, ‘Thank You’ and ‘I’m Sorry’.
But in large swaths of immigrant-rich areas in the country like Toronto and the surrounding GTA, social niceties may be falling by the wayside. Some Canadians are quite happy to blame the American influence for our lack of civility, but the truth of the matter is that the average American is possibly way more polite than many immigrant hailing from other countries. Now this is not to say that all Caucasians and others of Eastern European descent use their magic words, I’ve encountered my share of ill-mannered teenagers and young adults.
Do Canadians say ‘Sorry’ but seldom apologize?
I have come to the conclusion that many Canadians use the word ‘Sorry’ but they rarely apologize.
When I worked as a journalist back in India, I encountered my share of senior officials and a few celebrities who dismissed requests for interviews (especially if the story showed them in negative light) with a wave of their hand and words like, “Not interested.” But that sort of response went with the territory. Very often when faced by rudeness here I invariably take it up and see to it that the issue is addressed. Back in India I might not have cared given that rude encounters happen almost every day, sometimes several times in a single day. Senior management there often condone such behavior and are frankly guilty of such behavior themselves. I am willing to bet that many of them rarely use their magic words like ‘Please’, ‘Thank You’ and ‘Sorry’.
In counties like India many believe civility is dead, the cultured class bemoan the fact and make vain attempts to get the masses to adopt civility like is the case in Western countries, they often write about their pleasant encounters when traveling to Europe or the US.
In India saying ‘Sorry’ is perceived as admission of guilt
In India for example, saying ‘Sorry’ is perceived as an admission of guilt and weakness. People, women especially living in India are forced to be assertive and aggressive simply to survive. In Canada one has to be assertive, no doubt about that, but there is a fine line between being assertive and simply brash or arrogant. Some South Asians in the workplace are seen as a litigious bunch, others as walking lawsuits so much so that bosses are wary of taking them to task for non-work related performances.
As Canada becomes more multicultural in its demographic makeup, I can’t help but worry that civility and the use of magic words could end up being a casualty. In certain neighborhoods the tradition of social niceties may have already disappeared. I strongly believe that one way to keep such a treasured tradition of civility alive is to inculcate in our kids the importance of using magic words and letting them know that the word ‘Sorry’ isn’t an admission of wrongdoing. It can and should be used even when politely refusing to oblige someone who made a request or asked you for a favor.
